2024, Is Personal…
Hello! I feel like it’s been forever. I started this blog years ago and I have allowed distractions, fear and comparison to lead me a stray. I enjoyed writing, this was supposed to be my own little “peace” of the internet. I moved to the DMV, stopped going to school, lacked focus and forgot all about my goals. But I am determined to get back to me. I want to set real, obtainable goals. Focus more on myself and my walk with God. Be authentically happy. Be intentional with my time. Learn more, say less..
2023 was whew, lets just say a lot. Actually 2022- well actually the end of 2021. The end of 2021 I began to cut ties with certain people in my life. Ones that I actually called friends.
I lost my grandmother the beginning of 2022 - that was hard. I realized that I had and still have some childhood trauma that I need to release. My mother came to visit and we bonded - reconnected which was really nice. I did notice that I started isolating. I didn’t want to be around certain energy. Energy that was draining me, making me feel weak and tired after being in certain environments. Which I want to thank GOD for that. 2022 I lost a ton of friends, so called friends…. I was down bad. I had lost my sense of drive, I was hyper focused on the wrong thing. But GOD, God still provided. He never left me. I slowly started allowing myself to enjoy life and not feel guilty. I had to realign my mindset. However I still wasn’t growing, I was still people pleasing. Straddling the fence - and despite all the relationships that dissolved in 2022- I was still holding on…still searching for a community that reciprocated the support….but I never got it, 2023..wow…taught me a lot. I became comfortable with being by myself - still longing community, but okay with being alone. But never alone - because God was always there, I lost even more people - removed them from social media accounts.
I will never forget the phone call I had with my trainer (ex trainer, I hate we ended on bad terms) she was more like a life coach and I am forever grateful for her. We shared so much internally that after every call -I felt miserable. I would cry - but it was because she saw me. She saw how miserable I was and she called me out on my BS. I miss our calls, but I don’t miss her strictness with me lol
Anyhoo, I took her advice and just shifting my mind. Each day was a struggle. I would start something but wouldn't finish it. From School, Social Media, Working out, reading my devotional and bible… I was a mess . But toward the end of the year I got hit with some work allegations that messed my mind up. Even though I knew there was no truth to them, it still bothered me that someone didn’t like me….again - i’m a people pleaser so I just expect everyone to like me and see that I am trying to make it all good. Rekindling with my Friend Tameka gave me the pep talk that I needed. Even though we don’t talk all the time…it’s always right on time. My Memphis circle always gives me just want I need. I never realized how special my group was in Memphis. I am forever grateful for those ladies.
In 2023 I read 3 books, cut ties with dead, non reciprocated friendships, set boundaries (still working on making them healthy) re enrolled in my Master’s Degree Program, - and I will continue to keep these habit going into 2024. I’m currently in school (MBA program) I want to commit to writing again (blog post), journaling, spending intentional time with GOD, making more time for friends, being open to meeting new associates, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, eating healthy, weight training, stay consistent, saving money and saying no without an explanation.
I know.. that’s a lot - but if I spend less time scrolling socials and watching junk on YouTube I know I can do all of that and then some…Like achieving my goals!!
Okay, that’s enough for today…until next time!